1: Communicate outside the bedroom

Talk about introducing anal play into your lovemaking. Make sure it is something you both choose to do and discuss any fears or concerns.

2: Toilet time

Make sure the receptive partner has been to the toilet beforehand.

3: Lube!

Always use plenty of water-based lubricant, since the anal area is not self-lubricating.

4: Start small

Start with either fingers or a small silicone butt plug like the Pendant. You might want to wear latex gloves and you should make sure your nails are short.

5: Use the right toy

Any sex toy that is used anally needs to have a flared base so that part of the toy remains outside the body at all times.   We have a range of anal toys including vibrating ones, silicone, glass and prostate massagers.

6: Cleanliness

You can use condoms on toys for ease of cleaning and smoothness.  Never go directly from anal to vaginal sex with the same toy!  Wash the sex toy or change the condom first.

7: Relax

Stimulate the external anal area with lubricant to relax the muscles.

8: Go slow

When you begin to penetrate, the two sphincter muscles will contract. Penetrate a few centimetres then wait for the muscles to relax for about 10-30 seconds.

Repeat slowly. If the muscles tense up, wait for them to relax again. Check in with your partner frequently.

If they experience any pain, stop and wait for the muscles to relax.

9: Schedule in lots of play time

Make sure you allow time for anal play – it is not generally an activity you do quickly.

10: Have fun!

You’re there to have fun, right? Make sure you both have a pleasurable time!

If you are diabetic, your doctor will provide information about eating well and exercising to feel your best, but often the potential sexual problems related to the disease aren’t discussed with your doctor.

Sexual problems related to diabetes affect both men and women. One study reported 44% of patients said diabetes affects their ability or desire to have sex.

If you or a loved one are diabetic, this article will provide an overview of some common issues and suggestions for help.

Women

Twenty-five percent of all women with diabetes will experience some sort of sexual problem due to the disease. Women’s sexual satisfaction is typically affected by:

Lack of Lubrication

Lack of lubrication can be caused by nerve and blood vessel damage preventing blood flow. Using a lubricant is an easy and quick solution to this problem.

We recommend water-based lubes including Probe. Probe has been designed to mimic the body’s own lubrication and is very natural feeling. It’s hypoallergenic, safe to lick without a taste, doesn’t stain sheets or have an odour.

Women can also use clitoris pumps to draw blood to the clitoris (just like the guys with penis pumps!) which helps with lubrication. These are often hand-operated vacuum pumps which use suction to pull blood to the genitals. They are lots of fun and depending on which pump you purchase, can use them on your nipples. Some people have seen a slight (temporary) increase in the size of their clit! It’s always good to check with your doctor before using a pump.

Loss of Libido

Lack of sexual desire can be attributed to multiple causes including poor blood glucose control, lack of blood flow and psychological issues.

Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel is proven to promote clitoral responsiveness. It results in longer, more powerful and intense orgasms with most women. The active ingredient encourages the blood vessels in the clitoris to dilate therefore causing the clit to become fully aroused. Our customer feedback demonstrates that Purr Gel can promote increased personal lubrication, enhanced sensation plus easier and more orgasms!

Another product we have great customer feedback on is Wet n Wild. Wet n Wild is a natural herbal dietary supplement designed to enhance libido and sexual response. It is all natural and contains a combination of vitamins and herbs to stimulate libido levels. It’s a good idea to consult with your doctor before taking herbs and vitamins. Lavigra should not be used if you have a heart condition.

If it’s been a while, you may find you need to ease into getting into the mood. Try snuggling with your partner, massages and reading erotic stories.

Thrush / Yeast Infections

Diabetics can be susceptible to thrush, especially if you are still working to get control over your blood glucose. We recommend staying away from lubricants which contains sugar. Flavoured lubes often contain sugar. Try a silicone or water-based lubricant.

Painful sex

Painful sex is often contributed to either lack of lubrication or thrush/yeast infections.

Men

Fifty percent of all men with diabetes will experience some sort of sexual problem due to the disease. Men’s sexual satisfaction is typically affected by:

Erection problems

Erection problems can be caused by nerve and blood vessel damage preventing blood flow to the penis. You should discuss prescription medication with your doctor but there are also toys which can help.

Cock rings are a strap or ring that is worn around the base of the penis, the balls only, or around the penis and balls (i.e.: full tackle). Wearing one around the base of the penis assists most with blood flow and feels good! How does it work? Blood flow enters the erectile tissue in the penis through arteries inside the shaft, and leaves it through veins on the outside. Therefore putting pressure on the base can help achieve erection and maintain larger and harder erections (i.e.: bloodflow continues but more is kept within the penis).

If the problem is getting blood to the penis at all, penis pumps could be your answer. Penis pumps can temporarily enlarge the penis and create harder erections by drawing blood into the penis. Pumps generally consist of a cylinder that fits over the penis and a pump that creates a vacuum. This dilates the veins and arteries of the penis and the blood vessels in the erectile tissue. It’s always good to speak with your doctor before using a pump.

You may also want to consider Vigra HD or EDOil. Vigra HD is a powerful, natural and herbal pill for men designed to enhance sexual performance. Our customer feedback found that Vigra HD increased general libido, strength of erection, renewal of erection in the same session and stronger orgasm sensation. Consult with your doctor before taking a herbs. Vigra HD should not be used if you have a heart condition.

EDOil is a unique blend of natural oils designed to maximize the bloodflow to your penis. The effect is to make your erection firmer and to intensify the sensation of orgasm for men. Apply EDOil to your penis every day either night or morning and the EDOil will gently penetrate your skin opening the blood vessels and improving blood flow (it is a vasodilator).

Anxiety

Men will encounter some sort of performance anxiety during their lifetime. It may nervousness and anxiety instead of a circulatory system problem. One way of taking the pressure off performance is to switch to a different erogenous zone – your prostate or scrotum.

The prostate, also called the male g-spot, is located through the front wall of the rectum about 5-7 cms into the anus. Some guys can orgasm purely from prostate stimulation and many say it gives a more intense and whole body sensation of orgasm. Fingers are great for prostate massage and there’s a whole range of prostate massaging toys on the market. Check out the customer reviews on each toy page to see some of the great experiences guys have had.

You may find you need to ease into getting into the mood. Try snuggling with your partner, massages and reading erotic stories.

For both Men & Women

Just like any exercise, sex can cause low blood sugar levels. It’s a good idea to test your levels before and after sex plus have a small snack.

For more information, check out this excellent video from 2008 with Janis Roszler discussing the potential impact of diabetes on sexual health, and ways to maintain a healthy, enjoyable sex life. D.VICE is not affiliated with this video or the people in the video but we do think it’s informative.

Disabled people are as sexual and desiring as anybody else. Having a disability does not make someone a) childlike or b) incapable of feeling sexual.

Disabilities can be:

• Physical or mental
• Obvious (e.g. paralysed) or subtle (e.g. fibromyalgia)
• Innate (born with) or a recent occurrence
• Permanent (e.g. blind) or occasional (e.g. migraine)
• Affecting nerves/sensation
• Impacting stamina, positioning, comfort

Disability can limit spontaneity – but communicating and planning can improve sex.

About sex

Sex is much more broadly defined than most people think of it. Sex can be:

• solo
• with toys
• with a partner or partners
• including or not including penetration (or penetrating)

Sex can cause orgasm, or not. Sex can be overt or subtle. It’s sex if the person/people involved believe it is sex, and are feeling sexual feelings and responses.

Be sure to remember that orgasm isn’t the necessary end-point of sexual activity. An orgasm is experienced differently by everyone, no matter the disability or lack thereof.  Regardless of whether you or your partner has a disability, sex is different for everyone; what one person may enjoy, another person may not.

Many more people are disabled than is apparent. And all of them have the right to be sexual if they wish to be. Assisting them to find ways of attaining sexual pleasure, no matter their disability, is made much easier by communicating – asking relevant questions, listening, and being respectful of their knowledge of themselves.

If you’re interesting in learning more about sex and disability, be sure to check out  ‘The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability’ By Miriam Kaufman M.D., Cory Silverberg and Fran Odette (ISBN 1-57344-176-7)

Some websites worth reading:

‘Health Care Without Shame’ by Charles Moser, Ph.D, M.D.

An Open Letter to Those Without Invisible Disability or Chronic Illness

Here’s How, by Gary Karp

Learning Disabilities, Relationships and Sex

Love, Sex and Disability: Maintaining Interest and Intimacy, by Harlan Hahn, Ph.D

Nerve.com Sex and Disability Special Issue

Sex and Disability, by James Kirby

Sex When You’re Disabled

Useful Quotes

Understanding the disabled body

Your disability is part of who you are. Your chronic fatigue, mobility limitation, or lower body paralysis is as much a part of your sexual self as your enviable upper body muscles, sweet tush, gorgeous breasts, or graceful hands. Your body is the raw material you get t work with. You might as well get acquainted with the whole package. (Kaufman et al, p29)

You have a right to touch yourself in a loving way, you deserve pleasure, you deserve to be touched the way you want to be touched. You deserve to heal. (Kaufman et al, p285)

Constructing a sexual blueprint that maps the places on your body where you have more or less sexual sensation, as well as what your body looks like (inside and out), its textures and rhythms – leads to a healthier sexuality. (Kaufman et al, p28)

People tend to make assumptions about people with disabilities that have no bearing on reality – or their humanity. Even though there are those who believe that disabled people should not want to be sexually active, this is not factual because people with disabilities still long to be touched and loved just like a person who is totally healthy. (Kirby, disabled-world.com)

Communication

Everyone has a hard time communicating their sexual needs. We haven’t even found that it gets a whole lot easier the more we do it. The only thing we can say for sure is that without telling someone what you want sexually you are very unlikely to get it from them by chance. (Kaufman et al, p70)

Sexual sensation and orgasm

Having reduced mobility or less motor control of your hands or arms doesn’t mean you can’t play with sex toys. To start, consider any needs you have in terms of holding sex toys. What do you want to do with the toy? What movement do you have that you can use to manipulate a toy? Where would you want the toy to touch, and can you reach there? If you are thinking about using a vibrator, can you also press it against your body in addition to holding it? If you’re interested in a dildo, can you manipulate a toy for penetration? Remember, even if the answer if no to many of these questions, solutions can always be found. (Kaufman et al, p214)

When sexually aroused, we all have an increase in heart rate, breathing, body temperature and blood pressure. Blood collects in various places, including the ears and lips. The skin gets flushed, sometimes especially on the chest and neck. All of these things intensify. (Kaufman et al, p33)

People lacking sensation about the penis/scrotum or vulva area can often experience strong sensation around the anus. (Kaufman et al, p174)

Many people notice areas on increased sensitivity just about the line where they lose sensation. Having this area stroked, licked, or tickled can be very sexually pleasurable. After SCI, people often discover how much sexual pleasure they can get from their lips, earlobes, nipples, armpits, inner elbows and neck. (Kaufman et al, p 148)

About half of spinal cord injury survivors can experience orgasm and this ability is not strongly related to the level or completeness of injury. Some of us, for that matter, find sex even better than before injury. There is growing evidence that sexual knowledge, sexual self-esteem, and time since injury are related to the ability to experience sexual pleasure and orgasm. It seems that knowledge is power, power fuels self-esteem, and self-esteem opens the door to sexual pleasure. (Mitch Tepper, sexualhealth.com)

An experienced disabled lover knows their body well, has been through the routine before, and knows that describing in advance what won’t happen is what makes for a good time. You relax and enjoy what is possible. Which, of course, is a great deal. (Karp, goodvibes.com)

It is important to remember that orgasm has been defined by nondisabled people observing the sexual behaviour or other nondisabled people. (Kaufman et al, p57)

Pain

Rather than trying to explain the pain well enough so that the other people will understand it (this is close to impossible), it is often better to talk about the effects it has. Pain may interfere with our feeling we’re a sexual person, as it may make us feel not “at home” in our bodies, make it hard for us to feel sexy, make it difficult for us to reach out physically or emotionally, and sap our energy, Pain may be predictable, with times of day that are better than others, or things that can lead to temporary relief. Sex itself can also cause pain, or make it worse. (Kaufman et al, p91)

Many of us live with pain, inflicted on us by our bodies, our doctors, our illnesses. S/M can be a way to change our relationship to the pain we experience in our daily lives. (Kaufman et al, p242)

• To increase and improve their ability to achieve and maintain an erection.
• To improve firmness of erections.
• To enhance penis size.

How to use your penis pump

The penis is often sensitized as a result of using the pump. Until you are experienced, do not pump just before having sex. Use it a few hours beforehand instead.

Get yourself ready:

• Put aside some time for yourself to use your penis pump undisturbed.
• Trimming or shaving the hair at the base of the penis several hours before you start will allow for an improved seal.
• Do not ejaculate for several hours prior to using the penis pump, to allow for maximum expansion.
• Warm your penis, body and scrotum before you start your penis pump session. Take a shower, bath, sit in the jacuzzi or use a heat pad. This will open the blood vessels and relax the tissues.
• Urinate before using the pump.
• Find a comfortable place to sit or stand, whichever works best for you. Many men find a comfortable chair where you can lean back and spread your legs works best.
• Massage the penis and scrotum for 3-5 minutes.

Lube, lube and more lube

• As a result of prostate surgery, medications, medical conditions, stress and many factors, a man may have difficulty achieving an erection.
  The more erect your penis is when you put it into the pump, the easier to use.
• Use plenty of a quality water-based lubricant around the head, shaft and base of the penis.
• Make sure there is plenty of lubricant at the top of the cylinder.
• The lubricant at the base of the penis will help to improve the seal for the pump cylinder. If you are having difficulty creating the seal, add a small amount of vaseline to the lube (around the base only) to improve the seal.

Start pumping

• Start gently pumping until you sart to feel the vacuum seal.
• If it doesn’t seem to seal try changing position, massaging the penis until it is more erect or apply more lube/Vaseline to base of the pump/penis.
• Gradually pump the mechanism. If you create a too powerful vacuum, you can cause vascular damage to the penis.
• Gradually increase the vacuum pressure. You should never feel discomfort or pain or any kind. If you do, or if there is any swelling or discolouration, release the quick valve immediately and discontinue use for at least 48 hours.

Suggested penis pump schedule

By continuing this programme, you should notice improved ability to achieve erections and firmer erections within 4-6 weeks.

Because of the improved blood flow to the penis, you may notice an increase in penis size in both flaccid and erect state. This will only be maintained by continued use of the penis pump.

We recommend pumping 3 times per week and no more than every second day to allow the tissues a day to recuperate – just like going to the gym.

Weeks 1-4

• Pump for 10 minutes on low pressure.
• Massage the penis for 3-5 minute.
• Relubricate the penis.
• Pump again for 10 minutes on low pressure.
• Urinate and wash the penis at the end of the session.

Weeks 5-8

• Pump for 15 minutes, slightly increase the pressure from week 4.
• Massage the penis for 3-5 minute.
• Relubricate the penis.
• Pump again for 15 minutes.
• Urinate and wash the penis at the end of the session.

Week 9-12 months and ongoing for as long as you want to

• Pump for 15 minutes, slightly increase the pressure from week 8.
• Massage the penis for 3-5 minutes.
• Relubricate the penis.
• Pump again for 15 minutes.
• Urinate and wash the penis at the end of the session.

Longer term pumping at least once every 10 days for approximately 20 minutes will help to maintain the benefits of using the penis pump.

Other erection enhancers

As a result of prostate surgery, medications, medical conditions, stress and many factors, a man may have difficulty achieving an erection. This is a common issue and we recommend trying a combination of techniques and products to see what works best for you.

• Cock Rings – once you have been pumping for a few weeks, you should find it easier to achieve and erection. An adjustable cock ring is very useful for helping to maintain your erection.
• Herbal Libido Enhancers – if you are not suffering from high blood pressure, a herbal libido product such as Pro-Erex or VEXX HD can be very useful to improve your desire, erection and speed up recovery time. Be sure to use a quality libido product.
• Pro-Long Spray – for men who have early ejaculation issues, a delay or pro-long spray reduces sensitivity and can slow down ejaculation.  A cock ring will achieve the same result without loss of sensation.

About dildos

A dildo is a solid object that is designed for either vaginal or anal penetration. The difference between a dildo and a vibrator is that a dildo doesn’t vibrate, and it usually has a flared base so it is easy to use by hand or to strap into a harness. A silicone dildo is safe for anal penetration.

Dildos may be representational (shaped like a penis) or sculptured in a variety of shapes. We recommend silicone dildos, because they are non-porous, safe, easy to clean and warm to body temperature when being used. In the search for beautiful, practical, stimulating designs, we decided to make our own silicone toys, and all D.VICE silicone dildos have a 10 year guarantee against faults.

Dildos may be used solo or with a partner and by women and men of all sexualities. They can be hand-held or strapped into a front-sitting or thigh-harness for a hands-free experience.

Who would use a dildo?

The common misconception is that only lesbians use dildos. In fact we sell most of our dildos and harnesses to straight singles and couples. Dildos and harnesses are:

• Used by people of all sexualities and ages.
• Excellent for self-penetrative pleasure for women and men. Women often combine their dildo with a vibrator for clitoral stimulation. Men and women can use their harness to strap their dildo to a chair, bedhead and many other things for ride-on fun.
• Perfect for women to pleasure another women and/or man.
• Fantastic for men to use if he is spent or impotent or for double penetration.
• Great for people with limited use of their bodies and for the disabled.

Why use a dildo?

Dildos allow a different experience of penetration that can be focused on the receptive person’s pleasure rather than the penetrator’s. Strap on play allows and encourages a variety of positions and sensations. With dildos and harnesses it is possible to give oral stimulation (for both women and men) at the same time as penetration.

When you use a dildo you have your choice of size and shape, and they stay hard for ever (which takes the pressure off men). Dildos allow you to have double penetration without introducing another sexual partner.

Strapping it on

• Strapping a dildo on allows for hands-free action.
• Harnesses are usually made from leather, webbing or vinyl.
• Women can strap-on to pleasure another women or a man anally. Many men find it arousing to be the receptive partner. Many women find it very arousing to be the insertive partner.
• Men can strap on over their flaccid penis either after ejaculation or prior to erection.
• Men can strap on above their erect penis for double penetration.
• Use a thigh harness as an alternative to the traditional front harness. They are great for prolonged action, excellent for people with limited use of the lower body, and encourage you to try positions that are simply not possible with a traditional harness or with conventional intercourse.

Tips for penetration

• Use lubricant! It makes things more pleasurable by enhancing sensation. It also means you can have harder and faster penetration for longer, and lubricant is essential for safe sex and anal sex.
• Make sure the receptive person is fully aroused before penetration. For anal sex stimulate the anus externally to relax muscles.
• Communicate – let your lover know what feels good to you, and ask questions so that you can feel confident that you are doing the right things.
• Be aware of the receptive person’s pleasure.
• Combine either clitoral or anal stimulation with penetration – it feels great!
• Practice penetration that is just for the receptive persons pleasure (a dildo is great for this).
• Experiment with a vibrating cockring. These can be used on a dildo as well.
• Make penetration a treat for both of you.
• Choose positions that are comfortable for both of you.

5 most popular positions for pleasurable penetration

Out of apparently 600 potential positions for penetration or intercourse, these 5 are the most commonly practiced. They can apply to either vaginal or anal penetration, either with a penis or a dildo.

Missionary

• Declared by the church as the normal, godly position to have sex in.
• Said to be named by the South sea islanders who spied on the missionaries and were amused to see that they used just one position.
• The most common position in the Western world.
• Being reclaimed…
• Often facing each other can be intimate, allows for kissing, eye contact and easy communication.
• May be more comfortable if pillows are placed under the receptive person’s pelvis. For deeper penetration bend the knees right back.
• This is the best position for anal penetration and G-spot stimulation for men.
• The insertive partner has more control in this position so make sure the receptive partner(s) feel empowered or has some control.

Receptive person on top

• Either facing front or backwards.
• This gives more control to the receptive partner – they can control depth of penetration, angle and speed. This is excellent for anal sex.
• Visually a great position for the penetrative partner.
• Easy to achieve clitoral stimulation in this position.
• It is the best position when using vibrating cockrings.
• Lean back or forward for G-spot stimulation.

Rear entry or doggie style

• Allows for deep penetration.
• Is easy to stimulate the clitoris or penis.
• Is great for fantasy.
• Is best for female G-spot stimulation.

Face to face while sitting or kneeling

• Facing each other allows for intimacy, eye contact and kissing.
• Very comfortable.
• Allows you both to move, creating a slower grinding sensation instead of just the penetrative partner thrusting.

Side by side

• Either from behind or facing each other with legs in X position.
• This is intimate, and great if you are feeling tired or unwell.
• The best position during pregnancy.
• Good for premature ejaculators.
• Good if you want less depth of penetration.
• Can be good for G-spot stimulation.
• Empowering for both partners.

Swings and slings can be fantastic for penetrative sex, as the receptive partner is suspended and comfortable. Also, the swinging motion reduces the need for active thrusting.

Why Safe Sex?

• To look out for ourselves and our sexual partners.
• To help prevent any sexually transmitted diseases.
• Because it’s fun, playful and sexy.
• And because safe sex is way better than no sex!

When Safe Sex?

During any sex that involves potential contact with blood, vaginal juices or ejaculate. How?

• Use condoms and lubricant if you’re having sex with a man or sharing sex toys.
• Use dental dams or plastic food wrap during oral sex with women and for anal rimming.
• Use latex gloves/condoms and lubricant for vaginal or anal penetration with fingers.

It’s always going to be about choices – know what yours are.

Gloves & Dental Dams

The glove provides a barrier between possible cuts in the skin and body fluids such as ejaculate and blood.

The dental dam provides a barrier between possible sores or cuts in your mouth (which can be caused by simply brushing your teeth!) and body fluids such as ejaculate or blood. View our safe sex products.
Condoms

The condom is a barrier between possible cuts and sores in the mouth and body fluids such as ejaculate or blood. Change to a fresh condom if switching from anal to vaginal penetration. Condoms are also effective birth control.

We recommend using lubricant with a condom. This will reduce the possibility of condom breakage and also makes sex more enjoyable.

Wear a condom when having penetrative vaginal or anal sex with a female or male partner. Also wear one if you are having oral sex (a blow job).

When sharing toys, always use a condom or wash the toy thoroughly between uses. If using for vaginal and anal play, change condoms between use. Condoms also make it easy to care for the cleanliness of your sex toys. Find out more about cleaning and caring for your toys. View our safe sex products.

If you want to know more about safe sex contact us or Google to find your local sexual health clinic or AIDS organisation.

In general, we recommend using a mild antibacterial soap and hot water to clean your toys.

You do not need to use any chemical cleaners – they may cause irritation to your sensitive areas.

Keeping your vibrators clean and in working condition

You need to know a couple of things about your toy in order to choose the best way to care for it:

• Is it waterproof?
• How is it powered? Batteries,  charging or no power at all?
• What material is it made of?

Is your vibrator or toy waterproof?

If your toy vibrates, it’s safe to assume it’s not 100% waterproof – but it may be splashproof (there are a few exceptions to this rule, but it’s best to treat them as splashproof when it comes to caring for your toy).   What’s the difference between waterproof and splashproof?  Submersion!   Can you safely submerge the toy in water?

Check the packaging on your toy, or the details of the toy on our website, if you’re unsure which category your toy falls into.

If it’s splashproof: wash and dry your vibe throughly.  A mild antibacterial soap and hot water are excellent to use.   If your toy uses batteries, open the case to remove the batteries and check the case for condensation.  Make sure the battery case is dry before putting the batteries back in.

If your vibe is not splashproof: keep the toy clean by wiping it with a damp (not wet) soapy cloth or towel after use.   Dry it thoroughly.   Do not allow the motor or batteries to get wet as the vibrator will stop working.

For any vibrator: To make cleaning your vibrator even easier, you can put a condom on it before use.

How is your toy powered?

If your vibrator uses batteries, we recommend removing the batteries after each use.   This will help extend the life of your vibrator.   Batteries are the most common cause of vibrator malfunction.

If your toy is rechargeable, please read the directions which came with the toy.  They will give you detailed information about the best way to store and keep your toy in top shape.

What material is your vibrator / sex toy made of?

Silicone

Silicone is one of the easiest materials to clean!   We recommend washing it in hot soapy water. Be sure to rinse any soap residue off before use.  You can even take your silicone toy into the bath or shower for easy clean up (and for multi-tasking!).

D.VICE silicone toys (realistic and smooth dildos, and buttplugs) can be boiled in water for 3 minutes to sterilise them. This is not necessary if you are using your dildo or buttplug with a condom or for personal use only.

Do not use bleach or harsh chemicals to clean your silicone toy with.

Allow your toy to dry and store in a dust free place like a bag or toy box.   Silicone has great surface tension and picks up dust easily.  If your toy does become dusty, it can be quickly rinsed under water.   If you’re in a hurry to dry your dildo, you can use a hair dryer.

Leather

Keep your leather products clean by wiping with a damp cloth and drying away from sunlight and direct heat.

You can treat your leather products with a natural beeswax cream to keep the leather supple and protect it. Avoid using leather creams that contain chemicals or animal fats.

Information on some of our best sellers

Penis sleeves and stretchy cock rings: we recommend washing these soft latex sleeves and stretchy rings in warm soapy water. Rinse thoroughly and allow to dry away from sunlight and direct heat. Store in a dry dark place.

Smartballs are fully sealed and can be submerged in water.  They can be thoroughly washed in hot soapy water.  Rinse off any soap residue and towel or air dry.

Cleaning your Harness

Hipster and Groover: wipe the leather surfaces of the Groover and Hipster with a damp cloth and clean thoroughly around the ring.  Dry the harness away from sunlight and direct heat.  Store in a dry place.  You can treat your harness with beeswax to make it  more waterproof and give it a softer feel.

Garter: wipe the vinyl or leather surfaces of the Garter with a damp cloth and clean thoroughly around the ring. Dry away from sunlight and direct heat.  Store in a dry place.

Beachcomber: the Beachcomber can be hand washed in warm soapy water.  Rinse off the soap reside and hang to dry.

Rangler: this denim harness is machine washable.  Wash with dark colours or on its own.

Fervour: the Fervour consists of 3 different parts – the fun fur sleeves, the triangular backing and the harness.  First, remove the fun fur sleeves and vinyl backing piece.  The sleeves can be hand or machine washed.  Let them dry and then use a hair dryer to fluff the fur.   Wipe the vinyl backing with a damp cloth and keep it away from direct sunlight and heat.   The harness is made of a webbing and can be washed by hand or in a washing machine.  Hang inside to dry.  Store in a dry place.

Did you know that over 40% of Australian and New Zealand women suffer from varying degrees of incontinence?

It is estimated that up to 46% of women experience some degree of incontinence during pregnancy, with up to 30% having an incontinence problem following delivery. Plus as we age the problem compounds! (For more about the causes, read information at the bottom of the page.)

You are not alone if you experience one of these signs of incontinence:

• Do you sneeze and wet your pants?
• Can you no longer bounce on a trampoline?
• Can’t go running without an uncomfortable leak of urine?

Women of all ages may suffer from mild incontinence. This issue can be remedied for most women of any age, whether you are 60 or 16 and whether you never had a child, had one 6 weeks ago or 40 years ago.

Many younger women, especially those who have worked in retail or hospitality when they must hold on for long periods of time before going to the toilet, may also suffer from incontinence.

Pelvic Floor Muscles

The pelvic floor muscles are located above and around the vaginal opening, supporting and connected to the uterus. They contract when we orgasm, give our partner a squeeze on the penis or dildo and they stretch when we give birth.

Yoga and Pilates are an excellent form of exercise for improving pelvic floor tone. Many women who regularly do either Yoga or Pilates may find their PC muscles are in excellent shape. Stopping your flow mid-stream every time you urinate is also a great way to locate and workout those PC muscles.

For those of use who haven’t quite got around to regular exercise (even though we think about it often), Smartballs are an easy and effective alternative.

With minimal effort, a bit of up front work and monthly maintenance, you can get those PC muscles into shape and intensify your orgasms! A nice ‘side effect’ to strong PC muscles is the ability to squeeze your partner’s fingers or penis.

What are SmartBalls?

To find out all about Smartballs and how they work, go to All About Smartballs.

Pregnancy

During pregnancy and breastfeeding, the body releases hormones that allow the pelvic floor muscles to relax. During this time women can be prone to incontinence. Ideally you will use Smartballs before getting pregnant with your first child. This will set you up to reduce the risk of incontinence during pregnancy and post-natally.

Smartballs Pre-Childbirth

If you are planning on having more children, now is a crucial stage for early prevention of incontinence.  PC muscle stretching can be more pronounced with each successive child.

Smartballs and Pregnancy

Smartballs are NOT recommended for use during pregnancy. Get your pelvic floor muscles in shape prior to becoming pregnant, as good PC muscles before a natural birth encourages quicker recovery of the muscles, improves general vaginal health and can help in greater control when pushing.

Smartballs Post-Childbirth

If you didn’t get around to exercising your PC muscles before pregnancy, that’s okay. The next most optimum time is from 6 weeks after giving birth (provided everything is all healed up).

If you had one or more children and your PC muscles never recovered, then Smartballs can still offer you a good chance of recovering pelvic floor strength! Even if you had your children decades ago, Smartballs can help.

Good PC muscles can support the vaginal walls and help to prevent a prolapsed uterus.

Menopause

During menopause a woman’s body produced the same hormones as during pregnancy, and the pelvic floor muscles soften, often leading to incontinence. Again it is ideal to get your PC muscles in good shape prior to menopause, if you do not, you may need to use your Smartballs for a longer time to get them back in shape.

Hysterectomy

Women who have had a hysterectomy can successfully use Smartballs. As the pelvic floor muscles will most likely be intact Smartballs will be of great benefit. Depending on how much PC tone you have initially can determine whether you start with Smartball Uno or go straight to the Smartball Originals.

Prolapsed Uterus

Many women who have had a prolapsed uterus may only find it possible to insert one ball, so we recommend using the Smartball Uno and plenty of waterbased lubricant. You will get benefit from this. You will be able to work out for yourself if you think you will be able to move to the Smartball Originals, although this may not be possible.

Causes of Incontinence in Women

This information was found at Women’s Health Queensland.

Stress incontinence most often results from weakened pelvic floor muscles which support the bladder and the urethral sphincter muscles. Pregnancy and childbirth are the most common causes of weakened pelvic floor muscles. During pregnancy, hormonal changes and the extra weight and pressure of the baby contribute to weakening. The pelvic floor muscles may also be weakened during childbirth, particularly in a prolonged second stage of labour, if the baby is bigger than 4kg in weight or there is an instrumental delivery.

It is estimated that up to 46% of women experience some degree of incontinence during pregnancy, with up to 30% having an incontinence problem following delivery.

Pelvic floor muscles weakness can also be caused by the straining often associated with constipation or coughing. Therefore, smoking is associated with stress incontinence as smokers often suffer from chronic coughing. Excess weight is a contributing factor as the pelvic floor muscles are forced to carry a heavier load. It has also been found that some women have a genetic predisposition to pelvic floor weakness.

At menopause the reduction in oestrogen levels can contribute to a loss of tone in the urethra, therefore, affecting its closing pressure. Reduced oestrogen levels also cause the pelvic floor muscles to become less elastic and, therefore, may aggravate existing muscle weakness.

Treatment

Pelvic floor exercises are designed to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles through actively tightening and lifting them at intervals. Strong, well activated pelvic floor muscles help support the bladder, uterus and bowel.

The exercises are designed to work three different parts of the pelvic floor muscles:

• the muscles that control urine flow;
• the muscles that control the anal sphincter (muscles around the anus)
• and the muscles that surround the urethra and vagina.

The pelvic floor muscles also interact with the deep abdominal muscles.

What are Smartballs?

Smartballs were developed in Germany, as Fun Factory worked with a German midwife who specialised in incontinence and developed programmes for women facing incontinence issues.

Smartballs are based on the ancient Chinese tradition of Ben Wah balls (often made from Jade) – a weighted ball that women wore to strengthen the Pubococcygeus (PC) muscles and increase the sexual pleasure of women and their male partners.

Inside a Smartball, whether it is a single or double set, is a heavy weighted ball. It is the weight of the balls resting on the PC muscles from the inside that stimulates the muscles to contract, giving a woman that inner work out.

Smartballs are made from medical grade materials, are completely sealed, hygienic and easy to clean. Washing in a mild soap and hot water is all that is required. DO NOT use any chemicals to clean your balls. At most use a solution of water and white vinegar for additional cleaning and rinse the vinegar off thoroughly. Smartballs should last you for several years.

There are 3 sizes of Smartballs available. Fun Factory, the company who makes Smartballs, originally made the Smartballs Original, a double set of balls weighing 71 grams. These are a suitable weight and size for many women with moderate pelvic floor tone.

Customer feedback then prompted Fun Factory to develop the Smartball Uno, a single weighted ball. Some women found the double set to challenging to hold inside (both balls are inserted into the vagina in a similar fashion to a tampon). The Uno 42 grams is a great introductory model, however for an ideal muscle tone, women should move from the single ball (Uno) to the double ball (Original 71 grams or Duo 85 grams) as soon as possible.

Smartballs are worn when you are upright, sitting, standing, walking and exercising are all fine as the balls rest upon the muscles. If you are in a horizontal position, the balls will not rest on the muscles and therefore be ineffective. They are not designed as a sex toy nor are they likely to give a woman and orgasm during use – although they will make your orgasms stronger as the muscles become stronger. An orgasm is, after all, a delicious and powerful muscles spasm or series of spasms.

The key to a successful recovery of pelvic floor strength and prevention of incontinence is the regular use of the Smartballs. Initially wear them every day for up to a month, then for ongoing maintenance wear them one day a fortnight to keep the muscles in shape. If you lapse, just do another concentrated burst and the PC’s will tone up.

Some women find that through jogging or other exercise they get some natural vibration from the balls and the more you move with the Smartballs inserted, the more the muscles will work. However many of us are more sedentary and simply wearing the Smartballs will give you that inner workout. Do not be concerned if you do not really feel the balls, most women have little sensation above the vaginal opening. Equally if you initially feel internal pressure from the balls, like a weight bearing down, this will ease as your muscle strength improves.

Read through the instructions carefully below. We recommend reading through customer reviews as they have all sorts of tips to help you get the most out of your Smartballs, this can help you decide whether to use Smartballs Uno, Original, or Duo.

Which one is right for me?

1. Smartballs Uno are suitable for women who have very compromised PC muscles, or who find the double set of Smartballs to difficult to hold in, they are a good starting point for getting your muscles in shape. We also recommend these for women who have recently given birth or if you have a prolapsed uterus.
2. Smartballs Original are the ideal weight and many women will only use these over the years, if you started with the Uno Balls these are the next step in getting your P.C. muscles in peak shape.
3. Smartballs Duo are for the woman who already has good pelvic floor tone and is up for the challenge of these heavier balls. We would recommend these for women who do regular pilates or yoga or who have already got in shape with the Smartballs Original.

How to use your Smartballs

1. The key is regular use. Once you put the Smartballs inside there is no extra effort required.
2. Ideally you will be wearing the balls inside the vagina for long periods of time, so we recommend coating your Smartballs with a good quality water-based lubricant, such as Probe, to ensure they move comfortably around inside. Also put a little on the string where it sits inside the body to ensure there is no friction.
3. Choose a time to test drive your Smartballs when you have some time to yourself and are intending to be at home for at least a couple of hours.
4. Either sit our stand so that you can insert your Smart Balls into the vagina, and breath deeply to ensure your vaginal muscles relax.
5. Slip the balls inside the vagina. Apply more lube if you need to. Some women find they tense up. Gently massaging the clitoris, with Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel, can make it easier to insert your Smartballs if you are finding it difficult. Make sure that both the balls are inserted and that the string sits outside the body for easy retrieval.
6. Once your Smartballs are safely inside, just go about your usual routine. Initially you may feel a slight bearing down internally, however as your PC muscles become more toned this sensation will go away.
7. Wear the balls for a few hours every day for a week or so, building up the amount of time you have them inside. Your goal is to wear them all day every day or every second day for between two weeks and a month. You should notice the difference and if your partner is a guy, he will notice the improved squeeze on his penis.
8. With a little improved muscle tone, you will be able to wear your balls to work, while exercising, around home…anywhere you please.
9. Once you have done that initial work out, you can wear your Smartballs for a day once per fortnight or more if required, for maintenance.
10. To remove the Smartballs: relax your vaginal muscles and gently pull both removal strings. You may need to give a gentle push to help removal. If you have any difficulty or find your muscles tense up do not keep pulling the string. Take a few moments to relax, take some deep breaths and try again. Squatting or standing with a leg up on a chair may aid you to gently push the Smartballs out.

We recommend using a water-based lubricant, or silicone-compatible lubricant such as LubeXXX with your Smartballs. Many silicone lubricants are not compatible and can destroy the fabric of your toy. Damage of this kind is not covered by the guarantee. Fun Factory Smartballs come with a 90 day guarantee against manufacturing faults.

You and SmartBalls

Your SmartBalls are made from long-lasting medical grade materials and will last you for years. We recommend you use them regularly across the whole of your lifetime, whether you are young or older. For many women they have been life-changing, offering relief and freedom. Many women can avoid surgery by using Smartballs.

In many indigenous cultures, a woman and her new baby will be totally cared for by other women for a period of 6-12 weeks after childbirth. She will be able to totally focus on her newborn and is not responsible for household duties, caring for other children or her partner. In Western cultures, women are not afforded this luxury. It’s almost impossible to warn prospective parents about the huge changes that come with the birth of their first baby.

In our ‘supermum’ culture women are expected to not only care for a newborn, other children, the house but also to be focused on her career and ready to be sexual at the drop of a hat. Such unrealistic expectations put a huge amount of pressure on the modern woman. 

A woman will go through huge physical and hormonal changes post childbirth along with emotional and lifestyle. There is no doubt that for most couples all of these affect your relationship. Adjusting to limited sleep and caring for a baby may mean to last thing you want to be thinking about is sex. Post childbirth is a special and important time for a couple to bond not only with the new baby but also with each other. Most women will be breastfeeding up to 8 hours per day in total (7 days a week). It’s a full-time job!

One of the most commonly asked questions is; “When can we resume having sex after childbirth?”

The short answer is “when SHE is ready” and all women are different. While some women feel sexual a few weeks after childbirth, others don’t feel like having sex for months. It is important to communicate about this prior to the birth and after in a loving and respectful way.

A lot of women say the last thing they want or felt like in the months after birth is sex. “I felt sex was just another thing I had to do before I could go to sleep”.

It is important to be patient and to keep the focus on emotional support, love and affection. Resuming the physical side of a sexual relationship is much more likely to happen in a positive way if there is still a level of affection between you.

Physically

• Pregnancy and childbirth is a time of huge physical change for women and often your body looks and feels very different. This can be disconcerting and it’s important that partner’s give lots of positive feedback and affirmation. Feelings of being unattractive or not desirable are common. Western culture desexualises women who have given birth so it’s important to reclaim your sexual self when you are ready in a positive way.
• How a woman feels about her birth experience may affect how she feels about her body.
• The magic date given is usually after 6 weeks. Women will bleed/have vaginal discharge for anything from 10 – 28+ days after giving birth. When this has ceased it is safe to resume penetrative sex.
• 6 weeks is usually the time when you have a medical check-up and the doctor will give you the all clear for sex. It’s actually physically safe to have penetrative sex after bleeding has stopped, bruising has gone down and any tears or incisions have fully healed.
• Vaginal tearing  – many women tear during childbirth and these can be both uncomfortable and painful. Often tears receive stitches and may heal leaving scar tissue.
• Episiotomy (when the perineum is cut to aid in childbirth) – needs to be fully healed and often scarring can be sensitive and painful after the wound has healed. Penetration may feel uncomfortable and different to pre birth.
• Caesarean – This is a major operation and the incision needs to be fully healed before any sexual activity is resumed.
• Hemorrhoids – many women get piles during pregnancy or childbirth. These are often painful and may take a while to heal. Sometimes an operation is required.
• Women often experience nipple pain and with the focus on breastfeeding many women find they do not want their breasts receiving any sexual attention.
• Breastfeeding releases Oxytocin, which may counteract the effect of Oestrogen.
• Many women experience lowered levels of libido while breastfeeding although the experience of breastfeeding may feel orgasmic as Oxytocin is the same hormone released during orgasm. This is designed so that women feel relaxed and bond with their baby.
• Baby blues or post-natal depression – hormone levels take a sudden drop around 3 weeks.
• Contraception – the most appropriate contraception to use while breastfeeding are barrier methods such as condoms or a diaphragm.

Re-introducing lovemaking

• Make sure a woman never feels pressured to have penetrative sex.
• Men can be self responsible for their sexual needs and that the woman doesn’t need to feel guilty about not being sexual.
• Be aware that the new baby’s needs’ will be at the forefront. Sometimes men may feel like they are not getting enough attention.
• Make sure you give her sensual touch that is not sexual (such as a massage); be aware that a woman may feel ‘touched out’ by constant contact with her baby.
• Focus on sexual activities that give her pleasure and make her feel comfortable such as cunnilingus.
• Always use lubricant – breastfeeding will mean that a woman will not produce as much natural lubrication.
• Feed baby or express before lovemaking as arousal will cause letdown of milk. If milk does let down you may want to consider wearing a bra and breast pads (purchase a gorgeous bra just for sex!).

Keep sex fun and without expectation

For most couples the reality is that you will have less sex after the birth of your baby. Bub may seem to have an uncanny knack of waking just as you are about to orgasm! And the reality is that babies needs come first. This is the time to make sure sex is fun and without expectation. Laugh with each other and remember that babies are only small for a very short time.

Orgasm

Many women find how they experience orgasm may have changed. Physical, hormonal and emotional factors may contribute to this. It’s important to take the time to get to know your body and its new responses post childbirth. Let go of expectation and make sure your partner is sensitive to your needs. Some women may find it takes longer to orgasm or they may orgasm for the first time. Others may find that whilst they can orgasm easily the sensation is different, either much more fleeting or longer lasting. Purr is a natural Clitoral Arousal Gel, with L’Arginine as the main vasodilator ingredient, this is effective for speeding up a woman’s physical arousal and many women find it easier to orgasm. Just a small amount is needed.

Pelvic floor muscles
These are the muscles that stretch in a figure 8 around the vaginal opening and the anus. They are connected to the uterus and whole pelvic area. During childbirth these muscles are stretched and strained and it takes some concentrated effort to tone and strengthen them. However having toned pelvic floor muscles is essential not only for its health benefits in terms of preventing incontinence and issues such as prolapsed, it is also essential for sexual pleasure. The stronger your PC muscles the more likely you are to orgasm and experience your full orgasmic potential. Smartballs are fantastic for toning and strengthening your PC muscles and recommended by midwives. They are very effective and a must for women who have given birth.

Time for toys
Post childbirth will often be a time when your sex life becomes more simple. You have limited time and energy and doing what you know gives each other pleasure may be the focus. However for a woman who has given birth what she finds pleasurable may have changed. Be open and honest with your partner about what you are feeling. This can be the perfect time to introduce toys into your love-making or invest in a new toy. Using a toy together can be lots of fun and also mean you can discover new pleasurable techniques as a couple. A vibrating toy such as the We-Vibe, that combines G-spot and clitoral stimulation make feel fantastic. If you are wanting a toy that is more substantial for penetration many of the lager styles of the skin friendly Fun Factory vibrators is an excellent option. For those wanting something a little more petite the quiet and discreet rechargeable Lelo vibrator range is very popular and they are fun toy to use together. Having a beaded masturbator on hand for your male partner can come in handy – you can use it on him or send him off for some masturbatory pleasure.

Anal Pleasure
If you have experience any tearing of the perineum or had hemorrhoids it is a good idea to go very slowly with any anal play. Even if you are very experienced with anal penetration you may be surprised to find yourself back at beginners level. Start with a petite silicone buttplug and use lots of lube. You may need to gradually work up to being able to take a dildo or your partners penis…and if you experience any tearing of scar tissue or bleeding make sure you hold off until it is fully healed.

Libido
Do be aware that both pregnancy and childbirth can hugely affect a woman’s libido. This is different for all women and is affected by both physical and emotional changes. For many women it’s important to make time to reconnect with yourself as a sexual being. If you feel like masturbating it’s fine to have sexual fun with yourself, even if you are not ready to be sexual with your partner. Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel can often intensify clitoral arousal and sensation, and Lavigra is an excellent herbal supplement for lifting libido. The most important thing is taking your time and having fun along the way.